还是拜年和雾中的城市

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我上班的城市叫"Mountain View"。Office在十二楼,我的Cubical刚好对着窗户,而窗外,则是市政府的大楼。

我在这里两年半了,也就是说窗外的风景已经转过了两个半的春夏秋冬。现在是春季,山花烂漫的时候,而早上,则多数是被或薄或厚的雾气笼罩着。加州的季节变化不是很明显,能够有些雾气已经算是难得的变化了。我喜欢站在窗前,透过浓雾远眺城市的感觉–这是一种朦胧和不真切的感觉,浓雾遮盖了远方的青山,模糊了建筑物的界限,甚至虚幻了时空,让我感觉有些恍惚。

昨天晚上给大陆的几个朋友打电话拜年。先是曾艳,她的声音还是老样子,和十五年前一样。话题多数是她十岁的小孩,也提到一下工作。邱斐的电话通了但是没有人接。小叶子倒是接了,但是电话的声音总是沙沙的不清晰,无法多聊。只知道他在仙桃老家过年。二郎没有接电话,或者是通了但是他挂断了。

说实话,电话只能越打越短了,因为和朋友的话题越来越少了,因为大家的生活内容有太多的不一样了,因为至少表面上看,共同的部分越来越少。

太平洋隔绝了我和大陆的朋友,正如白色的雾模糊了视线,隔绝了远山,但是我知道在雾气之后是忙碌的人群。他们和我有不同的背景,文化,和生活习惯,他们讲不同的语言,信仰不同的宗教,秉持不同的价值观。他们和我的不同其实很像我和大陆的朋友的不同。然而不同的背后更多的是相同的东西。人的欲望,人的追求,人的善良和虚伪,生活的无奈和兴奋,乃至于每一刻的喜怒哀乐,都在告诉我们自己,其实我们没有什么不同。我们都是在用自己的方式去体验类似的东西,去追求各自认同的价值。殊途,但是同归。

某一天,我想好好的放下自己的生活,一个一个的拜访自己的朋友,和他们聊一聊这些年的变化,说一说这些年的感受。

说到底,人能够带走的,不过是自己的记忆和伴随着这些记忆的感受而已

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拜年

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虎年到了,给大家拜年!

回头看看,值得欣慰的是我没有失去任何朋友。
往前看看,我女儿马上就要来了,有些忐忑不安,但是主要是开心!

about dancing

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I am taking a dancing class this semester. It is part of my GE requirement. But the reason I take it is different: because I am afraid of it. 

I have to admit that I am really afraid of dancing. I don’t know how to dance, and I don’t know how to behave in dancing place. I don’t know how to enjoy dance, specially I don’t know how to ask a girl to dance. 
It stirs people’s mind — this is how do I feel in the fist dancing class. According to class rule, I had to dance with many different girls. I was so nervous and my hand was wet. My leg was so tired because I had to keep it in an unusual position. But most importantly, I couldn’t stop thinking about how people think of me. Many thoughts flew in my mind, "am I too close or  to far from her", "Whether I hold her to tight or to loose", "How is my steps? is it out of sync?", "I must be very bad dancer so nobody wants to dance with me". I often found I stood still at the corner, waiting for other people to come close and ask for dance. I never had such a long 3 hours class.
I feel much better at the second class. As I learned more about dance and I practiced a little bit more. I finally established some confidence. And I finally can shift my focus form myself to outside world. — What I learned from the second class is, dance is about touch other’s soul. I never thought about dance this way. As I dance more in the second class, as I danced with many different females: old an young, open and shy; Chinese, Vietnamese, Latino, White; I slowly touched their soul. Some of them are easy to lead, some of them are not. Thought is an Vietnamese student who is about my age, and she is very easy to lead. Since she is more  experienced, she often give me some hint, in an not so obvious way. And she can tolerance my mistakes. It is easy and relax to dance with her. Christina is a white girl, much younger than me. She is open and talks a lot. She likes to correct me — in a wrong way. I can imagine it won’t be easy to deal with her. Older women are usually nice. They are  soft, cooperate and easy to lead. Most importantly, they are calm and enjoy. Compare to them, young students are have more opinions… You can tell all of these details by how they sync steps with you, how they move their bodies. All of these are can only feel by dance.
I have no class next week, and I am going to learn Waltz soon. It would be fun. I am still scared. But I think I am getting better. 

一家之言

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准备写一个关于linux的博客,服务器设置好了,名字也有了,却发现自己其实没有太多可以写的东西。很多自己的学习资料其实都是来自于google的结果。很少有自己的思考和观点。

到现在才知道什么叫做厚积薄发,到现在才知道原来即便是拥有一家之言也不是件容易的事情。

女儿

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医生说我老婆怀的是个女儿。而几经波折,我女儿的名字也最后敲定:中文名张习琳,英文名:Celine,小名:惜惜,取惜福之意

按照家谱,我女儿是“习”字辈,因为是属老虎,需要有“林”,有“王”,才有根本,所以取了“琳”字。英文名字则是根据中文的谐音。

–又注:
据说姚明的老婆也怀孕了,可能是个女儿。唉!人和人咋地就这么不同命呢?真的很同情他们,这么小就被八卦盯上了。还是我女儿的命好Open-mouthed